Earlier this week my sister Aisling, who blogs about her quilting business over at Bazaar, mentioned something on Facebook that resonated deeply with me. She had come across an image on Pinterest that read “If your dreams don’t scare you then they’re not big enough” – a quote that’s popping up online quite a bit recently – and was struck by the amount of pressure we put ourselves under these days. Pressure to achieve impressive heights of success, to have dreams that are unique, quirky and trendsetting, to inspire others with the way we live our own lives.
While I love inspirational words and graphics – I have a Pinboard devoted to them – Aisling has an important point. A quote like that can motivate, or it can increase the pressure. What’s wrong with having ordinary dreams? Ones that don’t scare, but instead encourage us to move forward with our lives in small and satisfying ways. One of my big dreams is to have a garden someday. There’s nothing remotely scary about that, but it’s something I know will add to my personal happiness. It pushes me to make the changes in my life that will enable me to have that garden, but it’s not something that I’m afraid to go out there and achieve; dreams don’t always work like that.
In the last decade the online world of blogging and creativity has exploded. The amount of innovative and talented people adding their voices to the blogosphere is staggering. I’ve said this before, but I find myself constantly in awe and delighted at all the talent out there, and at the willingness of so many creative people to share their work and artistic knowledge. Reading through my feeds each day is inspiring.
But in the middle of this creative sharing culture, it can be easy to feel like you’re floundering. There are literally over a million blog posts published each day. With blog after beautiful blog to browse through it can become overwhelming. If your self confidence isn’t sturdy it’s easy to lose yourself in envy, hopelessness and competition. And which of us hasn’t felt like that at some point? It happens, we’re human, we want more, want to be more.
The quote that Aisling spotted is representative of this flip side of our creative culture, of the pressure we place upon ourselves to keep up, to be more, to present a sophisticated life and art to our readers. Ez of Creature Comforts wrote a blog post about this recently. Her honesty and bravery is touching, and has inspired many other bloggers to follow suit and begin being more open and honest with their own readers. It’s encouraging to see others start taking part in a conversation about it. It sets us free to be ourselves.
What I want to say is this: if your dreams are big enough for you, then they’re big enough.
Don’t get caught up in the anxiety of a culture that can push us to be more than we want to be. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. The key is to focus on you instead of on others. Ask yourself ‘what do I really want from life’ and ‘what do I want my blog to represent?’. Your readers will appreciate an honest approach, and it’s far more satisfying than feeling you’re just trying to keep up.
We don’t need dreams that scare us – they’re called nightmares – we need dreams that reflect who we are, and what life honestly means to us. We need dreams that excite and propel us forward. Sure, some of them will be daunting, but if we’re dreaming big because we think we’re supposed to, then it’s time to reevaluate.
Dream big enough for you, that’s all the dreaming you need to do.
♥
This is beautiful Ead. I especially love “if your dreams are big enough for you, then they’re big enough.” Damn straight :)
a x
This just made me smile so much! You have said it all so perfectly Eadaoin!
Wow . . . hear! hear! Beautifully stated!
I love this post. There’s so much pressure to be constantly under pressure. “We don’t need dreams that scare us – they’re called nightmares.” Thank you so much for posting this Eadaoin
Good call. There’s space in life for the exhilarating ‘OMG can I really do that?!’ stuff but it’s definitely worth keeping it in proportion to all the other things that make you happy, but might not sound impressive to anyone else. Thanks for a really inspiring post :)
Thanks for pressing the pause button there Éadaoin – I totally relate to what you’re saying. You’ve always had an eye for the simpler pleasures in life and that’s what comes across in this blog. I have seen that poster a few times and let the words roll around in my head – there’s something that idea that doesn’t sit right with me either!
I love this post and think you r wrote it beautifully and I agree whole heartedly with what you’re saying. A few years ago I was feeling like I wasn’t enough in the blog world like I was trying to hard but no one would visit my blog. Now I am okay with it. I blog because I like too because it makes me happy. If 100 people visit a day or none I’m okay with that. I’m okay cause I ‘m not blogging for readers but for myself!
Thanks for all the kind comments guys, I’m delighted to see this post get a positive response and it’s good to know that my thoughts are the same as your own.
I really hope you do get your garden Eadaoin……….meanwhile you’re welcome to come share mine which is suffering so much during this Summer drought and heatwave!!!!
This post is so amazing, and inspirational – every blogger should read it. I’m certain a huge majority are feeling the same way. I’ve been blogging for over five years now (I had another blog prior to the present one) and still love keeping it going even. The commenters have dropped off, perhaps because they have too many blogs to follow these days. I’m guilty of that myself – it’s just so hard to keep up with so many online friends – as much as I would love to sit here for hours on end reading and commenting!
Thanks for the sunny buttercups – memories of childhood walks in the meadows!!!! Beautiful.
Here’s to dreams – of any size – just have them.
Hugs – Mary
It’s impossible to keep up Mary! I’ve discovered that over the last couple of months myself, it’s just too difficult to try to do everything. So these days I take my time – I don’t comment on every post I read, I don’t post here very often and I take a break from the online world when I need one. The main thing is having enough time to yourself, because without that you’ll burn out pretty quickly. Of course it’s important to maintain connections with other bloggers and online friends, but I think that these days most people know just how overwhelming it all can be, so they don’t expect you to be able to do everything.
I’m glad you’ve found this post helpful, and I may just take up your garden visit offer, especially since all we seem to be getting here lately is rain! x
This is a truly incredible post, and so much of what you said truly resonates with me! especially because when I saw that quote I didn’t feel encouraged, but… well, more or less like a loser. I don’t have any scary dreams right now. I reached my dreams, now I need new dreams, must they all be huge and overwhelming? I don’t think so. Dreams should be exciting, yes, but not scary.
I absolutely love this post.
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve felt like that Elisa, but I know just what you mean, it’s difficult not to feel inadequate at times. I’m glad you’ve come to peace with your own dreams, and delighted for you that you’ve achieved some of them and are seeking new dreams to replace them with! Wishing you lots of light on your new journey x
Thank you so much for this! I am constantly wavering between feeling like I’m not doing enough or challenging myself enough (with my blog, photography, graphic design, etc) and then the next moment feeling like I’m spending too much doing that stuff versus being in the real world. Such a hard balance. I think you are so right. You do what is best for you.
I really enjoyed this post, and all so true. I’m all for a motivational quote every now and then but I think there is a lot of pressure to dream big and do things out of the ordinary when a lot of the time I’m quite happy bumbling along in my quiet little life. I agree with not missing opportunities and striving to be a better person but I don’t think we should put pressure on ourselves to be extraordinary, especially not in our creative outlets, they should be what we want them to be, not what anyone else does. X
Rosie | A Rosie Outlook
That’s exactly what I was trying to say Rosie, it’s just about being peaceful in your own life and happy with your dreams whatever they may be.
Hello, Éadaoin! Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve actually had it open on my computer for the last few days and have been rereading it, both for its truthful message and for how beautifully it is written.
You’ve definitely struck a chord here and I’m impressed with the insights left by your other readers. Perhaps we aren’t meant to be able to take in the abundance of outside influences via the internet on our own personal lives and dreams. Blogging, social media and the entire online experience are often mixed blessings. Several times a week I’m ready to shut down all of it but for one thing: the incredible people that I’ve met who really do enhance my life. And you are in the top strata of that list. Much love and have a wonderful weekend. xoxo – g
Thank you so much G, you know I feel very much the same about our friendship, it’s one of the most treasured things I’ve discovered online :) You may be right about not being able to integrate the effusion of online inspiration with our own personal dreams. It’s tough to learn to just observe and not want to emulate the success and artistry of others, but I truly believe that the answer lies on focusing on our own development and desires rather than looking outside ourselves for guidance. Easier said than done, but it’s worth the effort x
Hey Ead (and other readers!),
I found this article by way of my friend Amy and it’s another thoughtful take on the whole success/lifestyle balance. It’s a good piece from someone who knows the importance of downtime and “meh” :)
http://grist.org/living/2011-06-28-the-medium-chill/
Thank you so much for this….such a wise piece of advice !
Lovely post and one that resonated as I’ve just started a second blog. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks but havent had the confidence to go for it. In the end I just have. If people read it they do, if not its somewhere I can reflect and empty my thoughts :-)
Wow – the more I read, the more I feel like we are very much in tune. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about blogs today – the millions out there, the thought that I don’t have much to say, etc. Your post assured me I can move forward. Thanks!